


I Need You To Be With Me

by Storygal



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 01:32:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9796451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Storygal/pseuds/Storygal
Summary: Kara's thoughts about Alex during some of the events taking place in Supergirl Lives.  Includes some dialogue from the episode.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I started this fic last month right after Supergirl Lives aired. Kind of an expanded Kalex version of the episode. This is my first fanfic in a very long time, so please be gentle with your feedback. Thanks!

You land in DEO headquarters hoping Alex or J'onn will give you a mission a lot more worthy of Supergirl's talents than those stupid jewel thieves you just nabbed. And as always, you're looking forward to seeing Alex again.

You feel yourself start to float just the tiniest bit as Alex strides towards you, but you manage to catch yourself just in time before she notices. For a split second you think about telling her how glad you are to see her, but you let your rancor at Guardian-- _that damned vigilante on a bike_ \--take over your thoughts. You spend the next few minutes arguing with Alex that the Guardian isn't good for anything except getting in your way.

"Okay, what's bothering you?" Alex cuts you off firmly. "And it's not Guardian."

"Who says anything's bothering me?" you shoot back, absently playing with one of the gizmos in Alex's lab to avoid looking at her. Once again, you're amazed--and dismayed--at how well Alex knows you.

"Crinkle," she smirks as she leans forward to lightly tap the space between your eyebrows. You're so grateful she can't hear how hard and fast your heart is beating.

You try to distract Alex with a flippant remark about using Botox to hide all future "crinkles". It doesn't work.

"Kara." Alex is using her "big sister" tone, the tone you know better than to argue with.

You tell her all you're doing lately is protecting jewels and money instead of people. Alex assures you that you're a hero and tonight's bust is cause for celebration. The pep talk doesn't really help this time, but you love listening to her voice.

You truly miss all the heroic feats, but you don't dare say you miss her more than anything. Not for the first time, you think about how long since it's been just the two of you like this. Too long.

"Do you want to come over?" you eagerly ask. "We could catch up on The Night Of." You're careful to hide the disappointment in your eyes when Alex hesitates.

"I...can't. I have plans." she says quickly "But if you need me to cancel them--"

"No, no, I need you to go be with your girlfriend!" you quickly assure her, even as you ignore the tiny voice in your mind whispering _I need you to be with me._

You see the way Alex lights up when she talks about Maggie. As she walks away you know you'll do whatever it takes to keep that brilliant smile on her face. Her happiness is everything to you. She is everything to you.

***

The next day Alex's smile is impossibly brighter than before. You don't ever remember seeing her so happy. You can't help smiling yourself as you think she's never looked more beautiful.

You allow yourself to bask in her glow as she tells you Maggie spent the night. At the same time you ruthlessly push out of your mind all the times you've dreamt of being the one in her bed. You refuse to admit to yourself how much you wish you were the reason for the pure joy dancing in those hazel eyes.

You quickly decline Alex's offer to help you with your missing persons investigation. This is all about Alex, you tell yourself emphatically. This is her time to celebrate. Alex deserves to live life on her own terms. And Rao knows, no one deserves happiness more.

***

You snap at Mon-El with barely restrained rage when the cold reality sinks in that Alex won't be joining forces with you on this hostile moon on the other side of the galaxy. You don't tell him how terrified you feel, or how much stronger you always feel with Alex by your side. And you sure as hell don't tell him about the sick feeling spreading through your gut at the all too real possibility that you'll never see her again...

You scream as the energy beam from your captors' weapon mercilessly slices through your stomach yet again. You swallow a sob as you desperately try to locate Alex's heartbeat, even though you know it's futile. You've never told Alex how much comfort her heartbeat has always given you during your years on earth, especially when you feel scared or lost. There's so much you've never told her...

No one notices your sharp intake of breath as Alex runs to you. If you had your powers you'd be floating for sure. You relish the feel of her strong arms around you. For a brief moment you forget everyone else and it's just the two of you again. But all too soon the moment is over as she steps out of the embrace. There's no time to bask in the love she always wraps you in...

***

You're not sure how much time has passed since you and Alex returned to the DEO. J'onn and the other agents are already moving on to other missions. Your memories of the rescue fade into the back of your mind as Alex closes the short distance between you and places a hand on your cheek.

"Are you sure you're all right, Kara?" Alex's eyes are soft, displaying a tenderness you only see when she's with you.

You nod against her hand, leaning into her touch.

"Yeah, thanks again for the recharge," you say warmly, your lips forming into the first real smile you've had in days.

Alex still looks you over to make sure you're okay. _Rao, please don't let this moment end_ , you plead silently.

"Can you come over tonight?" you blurt out quickly, once again grateful Alex can't hear the hammering in your chest.

Alex sighs. "I need to catch up with Maggie." Alex's eyes don't show the same mirth this time when she mentions her girlfriend.

"Are you okay?" you ask gently, lightly placing your hand on Alex's.

"Yeah." Alex gives you a weak smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "But if you need me..."

_I'll always need you,_ your mind whispers, even as you put on a plastic smile and shake your head.

"No, I'm good," you say out loud. Alex nods quickly as she removes her hand from yours and starts to walk away. You immediately notice a heaviness in her step that wasn't there earlier.

You start to go after her, then abruptly pull yourself back. You've got to think about what Alex needs. And right now Alex needs to be with her girlfriend.

You ignore the painful knot forming in your throat at that thought. You know you're doing the right thing. As long as Alex is happy that's all that matters.

You just wish she could be happy with you.


End file.
